SMILE IS THE BEST THERAPY AND IS ALWAYS IN FASHION

WHAT IS SUNSHINE TO FLOWER SMILE IS TO HUMANITY
USE YOUR SMILE TO CHANGE THE WORLD DON”T LET THE WORLD TO CHANGE YOUR SMILE .BE STRONG WHEN PASSING THROUGH TROUBLED PHASE IN LIFE ,WEAR A SMILE MAKE YOUR PRESENT GROW THE FUTURE WILL SPARKLE WITH JOY AND LIGHT

NOTHING YOU WEAR IS AS IMPORTANT AS SMILE .SMILE ENHANCES YOUR FACE VALUE .SMILE CAN BE BRIDGE TO MANY OBSTACLE .ASMILE CAN BE A FRIEND MAKER

SMILE IS THE BEST CREDIT CARD BECAUSE IT IS ACCEPTED WORLDWIDE AUTO RELOADED ,UNLIMITED USAGE NO PAYMENT ,IT KEEPS EVERYONE HAPPY JUST KEEP SMILING

SUNNY ATTITUDE

SMILE IS A SUNSHINE OF A PERSON THAT LIGHT UP THE WHOLE SURROUNDINGS A PERSON WHO IS ARROGANT TALKS HIS REAL SELF GIVES HIS OWN INTRDUCTION WHAT SORT OF A PERSON HE IS OR ANYONE WHO IS DAMAGING YOUR NAME AND FAME LEAVE THINGS TO GOD TIME WILL COME IT IS INEVITABLE THAT PERSON WILL FACE STIFF CHALLANGES IN LIFE WHICH WILL UPROOT HIS EXISTENCE.

YOUR SUNNY ATTITUDE BRINGS OUT EVERY ONE SMILE WHEN THEY MEET YOU.

FASHION

SMILE IS THE ONLY FASHION WHICH IS LAST FOREVER

A WARM SMILS IS A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE OF UNDERSTANDING

SMILE AT EVERY SITUATION IT WILL SHOW YOUR STRENGTH AND ABILITY

                                                                                                                  YOU AND YOUR POWER

                                                                                                          BE A WARRIOR NOT A WORRIER

LIFE IS FULL OF UNCERTANITIES ,WE MAY BE SUCCESSFUL OR WE MAY HAVE TO FACE DISAPPOINTMENTS BECAUSE OF REASONS BEYOND OUR CONTROL .THIS IS TIME FACTOR ,WE ALL HAVE TO BOW IN FRONT OF TIME ,NO ONE IS SPARED SINCE SUCCESS GRAPH COMES DOWN IN LIFE AT SOME POINT OF LIFE.WE MUST CHANGE OURSELVES WITH TIME DO NOT LET TIME CHANGE YOU,IT MAY BE VERY PAINFUL.

NO ONE IS EFFECTED ONLY ONE PERSON IS EFFECTED WHO IS WHEN YOU STAND IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR.DURING THESE TIME PEOPLE ARE FUSTRATED,FEELS IGNORED AND NEGLECTED,PEOPLE WILL MOCK AT YOU,TEASE YOU,DISTURB YOU ,DONT LOOSE YOUR CONFIDENCE REMAIN FIRM .LIVE LIFE KING SIZE ,DO NOT LET EMOTIONS TAKE OVER YOUR CONFIDENCE .

REMEMBER WE OFFER PRAYERS TO THE RISING SUN ,EVEN IF MUD SLINGING YOU HAVE TO FACE REMAIN CALM ,PEOPLE DID NOT SPARE GODESS SITA ,SO WHO ARE YOU DONT WORRY AND THINK POSITIVE

IT IS YOUR SKILL AND WILL WHICH GIVES YOU SUCCESS ,BUT WHEN YOU ARE DISAPPOINTED ,IF YOU HAVE WILL TO EXCEL ,YOU BOUNCE BACK ,IF YOU HAVE THE WILL YOU ARE BACK ON TRACK AND YOU WIN THE RACE OF LIFE

SUCCESS DONT COME EASY WE HAVE TO SLOG FOR IT ,SOME QUALITIES CAN BE VERY HELPFUL

DO NOT CRITISIZE ANYONE-YOU MAKE ENEMIES WE NEED SUPPORT TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS,WE NEED MANY SUPPORT LINES TO EXCEL .MANY DOORS WILL CLOSE FOR YOU IF YOU CRITIZE ,WE NEED OPEN DOORS TO ACHIEVE OUR GOALS ,PROVIDE SOLUTIONS ,BY CRITIZING YOU ARE BUYINF PROBLEMS ,IGNORE THINGS YOU DO NOT LIKE .AT TIMES SILIENCE IS GOLDEN

DO NOT CONDEMN-DO NOT  SPEAK AGAINST ANYONE WITHOUT PROPER JUSTIFACTION ,BE VERY POLITE

SOME PEOPLE BECOMES VERY RICH BEING A SUCCESS IN THERE PROFESSION OR SOME PEOPLE INHERIT LOT OF WEALTH ,THEY SPEAK RECKLESSLY,MAKE FUN OF OTHERS AND ABUSING OTHERS BECOMES PART OF THERE TALKING STYLE,THERE BODY LANGUAGE CHANGES

NO DOUBT SUCCESS BRINGS PROUD ,BUT NOT LET YOU SUCCESS BE PAIN TO OTHERS .ALWAYS REMEMBER NOTHING IS PERMANANT ,WEALTH AND FAME HAS UNFORSEEN WINGS THEY MAY FLY TAKING YOU BY SURPRISE

 

 

SMILE WITH JOOOKES

1.COUNCIL HOUSE HAD THIN WALLS .WHEN THIS COUPLE GOT MARRIED THEY STAYED THE NIGHT WITH HIS PARENTS ,WHO RETIRED TO BED  ONLY TO BE DISRUPTED BY THE BUMPING ABOUT IN THE NEXT ROOM .”TELL YOU WHAT ,”FATHER REPLIED “EVERY TIME THEY DO IT,WE”LL DO IT

THIS WAS AGREED ,AND AFTER AN HOUR THE HONEYMOONERS WERE OFF AGAIN .FATHER AND MOTHER WERE FELL INTO AN EXHAUSTED SLEEP ,ONLY TO BE RE-AWAKENED AT FOUR IN THE MORNING .AT SIX FATHER AWOKE ,LISTENED,AND SAID :”STOPIT,ALBERT,YOU”RE KILLING YOUR MOTHER”

2.A LITTLE GIRL WAS IN A PARK CRYING WHEN A RESPECTABLE OLD GENTLEMAN ASKED HER WHY.SHE SAID”I WANT ONE OF THOSE THINGS LIKE MY BROTHERS GOT ,THAT STICKS OUT ,AND THEN LAYS DOWN,AND THEN STICKS OUT AGAIN”.THE RESPECTABLE OLD GENTLEMAN BEGAN TO CRY.

3MR THOMAS WAS SITTING IN HIS CHAMBER IN HIS OFFICE WHEN HIS EMPLOYEE CAME IN AND OFFERED HIM SWEET WAS LOOKING VERT DELIGHTED AND SAID ,SIR PLEASE HAVE SWEET I HAVE BECOME FATHER ,MR THOMAS SAID THATS GREAT CONGRATS,AFTER A PAUSE FOR FEW SACONDS HE SAID TELL ME HARRY ITS HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN TO YOUR HOME TOWN AND MET YOUR WIFE ,HARRY SAID SIR ITS 10 MONTHS AND 15 DAYS TO BE VERY SPECIFIC YOU DONT GRANT ME LEAVE.MR THOMAS SHOOK HIS HEAD “I WILL GIVE YOU BOX OF SWEETS I HAVE NOT SEEN A MORE DEDICATED HUSBAND”

4.THERE WAS A GIRL HAD EYE ON THIS CHAP ,AND SHE WANGLED IT FOR HER PARENTS TO BE OUT WHEN HE CALLED.SHE TOOK HIM IN THE FRONT ROOM ,TURNED OUT THE LIGHT ,POURED HIM A DRINK ,AND SAT WITH HIM ON THE SOFA.SHE THOUGHT HE WOULD BE SLOW ,BUT HE PROCEEDED WITH EVERY CONFIDENCE.HE STROKED HER HAIR ,KISSED HER NICK,THEN HER LIPS.HE CRUSHED HER ON TO HIM HE PRESSED HER BACK HE LAID HER DOWN ,HE LAY ON THE TOP OF HER ….THEN HE STOPPED.

GO ON,GO ON ,SHE MOANED “DONT STOP NOW OR ELSE I WILL DIE”.”YOU DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT WHAT DO YOU MEAN?.

“WELL DARLING ,THE PICTURE ALWAYS FADE OUT AT THIS POINT”

5.A SMALL BOY WANDERED INTO HIS MOTHERS BATHROOM WHEN SHE FORGET TO LOCK THE DOORS,AND SAID:

“MOTHER WHAT NICE BALLONS YOU HAVE GOT”

“BALLONS ,JIMMY ,WHY DO YOU CALL THEM BALLOONS”

WELL,I SAW FATHER BLOWING THE MAIDS UP WHEN YOU WERE OUT YESTERDAY

6.THERE WAS A BOY WHO EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT OF HIS LIFE ,HAS TO GO ACROSS THE TOWN TO HIS FATHER .THE FATHER WOULD HAND OVER THE AFFILIATION  MONEY .WHICH THE BOY TOOK BACK TO HIS MOTHER ,THIS WENT ON FOR SIXTEEN YEARS ,BEFORE WHEN THE MOTHER HAD OBTAINED A BASTARD ORDER AGAINST THE MAN

ONE DAY  FATHER SAID TO THE BOY “YOU ARE SIXTEEN YEARS TODAY,.IS IT RIGHT

BOY SAID :YES DAD” I AM

“RIGHT HERE IS THE LAST PAYMENT ,NOW GO BACK AND TELL YOU MOM I AM NO MORE YOUR FATHER

BOY SAID MOM TOLD ME TO TELL YOU TODAY YOU NEVER WERE

7.A YOUNG PORTER IN AN HOTEL WAE BOUGHT UP IN COURT FOR RAPING THE CHAMBERMAID .SHE ALLEGED THAT WHILE SHA WAS LEANINGNOUT OF THE WINDOW TO WATCH THE MAY DAY PARADE ,THE YOUTH LOWERED THE SASH ,TRAPPED HER AND TOOK HIS WILL ON HER 

“BUT MISS SAID THE JUDGE WERE YOU ENJOYING ,”WHY DIDN’T YOU START YELLING?

“WHAT,AND HAVE EVERYONE THINKING I WAS SUPPORTING THE LABOUR PARTY.

8.A CHAP WAS MAKING PRETTY GOOD PROGRESS WITH A GIRL .SHE AGREED TO GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND ,PROVIDED HE BOUGHT A SHEATH WITH HIM

WHEN THEY WENT UPSTAIRS TO BED ,HE ADMITTED HE DIDN,T KHOW HOW TO WEAR IT ,SO SHE ROLLED IT DOWN TO THUMB TO SHOW HIM .THEN THEY PUT THE LIGHTS OUT AND GOT ON WITH IT .AFTER A WHILE THE GIRL SAID ,”YOU KHOW I”M AM TERRIBLY STICKY,I DO BELIVE YOU HAVE BROKEN THAT THING”

“OH NO I HAVEN”T HE SAID (SWITCHING THE LIGHT ON)”HERE IT IS ,STILL ON MY THUMB

9.THE PARTY WES IN  FULL SWING WHEN GEORGE SET OUT ON A TOUR OF INSEPTION ROUND THE HOUSE .IN ONE OF THE BEDROOM HE CAME ACROSS A NAKED GIRL FAST ASLEEP,UNABLE TO RESIST HIS TEMPTATION ,HE STRIPPED OFF AND STARTED MAKING LOVE KISSING HER HONEYBUNS ,SOON SHE WOKE UP AND ASKED HIM WHAT ON EARTH HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING

“SHALL I TAKE IT OUT”?ASKES GEORGE

“TAKE IT OUT “SHE REPLIED “AND THEN PUT IT IN AGAIN A FEW TIMES SO THAT I CAN MAKE UP MY MIND”

10.MAN HELD HIS GIRLFRIEND CLOSE AGAINST HIM ,A WARM GLOW OF SATISFACTION COVERING THEM BOTH.”AM I THE FIRST PERSON YOU HAVE MADE LOVE TO ,HE ASKED.SHE STUDIED HIM REFLECTIVELY .”YOU MIGHT BE “SHE SAID “YOUR FACE LOOKS VERY FAMILIAR”

11.THE HOUSE MASTER FOUND TWO OF HIS SCHOOL BOYS MASTURBATING AND SHOUTED,IF YOU KEEP THAT UP YOU WILL GO BLIND

ONLY SLIGHTLY ABASHED THE TWO BOYS GLANCED AT EACH OTHER AND FIRST BOY SAID TO THE SECOND “WELL LETS JUST DO IT UNTILL WE NEED A GLASS”

12.A MAN IN THE BARBER’S SHOP GETTING A SHAVE AND MANICURE ,HE SAYS TO THE MANICURIST ,HOW ABOUT GOING OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT .i CANT ,SHE SAID ,”I AM MARRIED”TELL YOUR HUSBAND  THE CUSTOMER SAID YOU HAVE TO WORK TONIGHT.”YOU TELL HIM “SAID THE MANICURIST.”HE IS SHAVING YOU”

13.A BOY OF 12 WENT TO HIS FATHER WITH A LITTLE GIRL OF HIS AGE ,A NEIGHBOURS DAUGHTER AND SAID “DAD WE WANT TO GET MARRIED”YES SON WAIT FOR TEN YEARS ,FATHER SAID .”NO DAD NOW”SON SAID

WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE ON,FATHER SAID

“WE CAN MANAGE ON HER  POCKET MONEY AND MINE

SAID FATHER ,OH ,I SEE AND WHAT IF SHE HAS A BABY 

“WELL DAD NOTHING HAPPENED SO FAR”

A LITTLE BOY AND LITTLE GIRL PLAYING ALONE IN A SHED ,THEY DECIDED TO TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES  ,AND NOW THE LITTLE GIRL IS VERY UPSET TO SEE THE LITTLE BOY HAS GOT SOMETHING SHS HASNT GOT ,LITTLE BOY TEESE HER OF HIS SUPERIORITY,AND SHE RUNS HOME CRYING TO MOM.

WHATS THE MATTER MOM ASKED,HAS JONNY BEEN HITTING YOU 

NO SAYS THE LITTLE GIRL,POINTING TO HER FANNY ,  THE GIRL SAID “HE HAS GOT SOMETHING THERE THAT I HAVEN’T GOT”

DONT WORRY MY DEAR ,SAYS MOTHER “BELEVE ME DARLING AS LONG AS YOU HAVE THESE YOU’LL ALWAYS BE ABLE TO GET ONE OF THOSE

TO MY EVER LOVING WIFE

  18   DURING THE PAST YEAR I HAVE TRIED TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU 365,TIMES ,AN AVERAGE OF ONCE PER DAY,AND FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF THE REASONS YOU GAVE FOR REJECTING ME

WRONG WEEK  11 TIMES

IT WILL WAKE THE CHILDREN  7 TIMES

IT IS TOO HOT  15 TIMES

IT IS TOO COLD   3 TIMES

TOO TIRED   19 TIMES

TOO LATE  16 TIMES

TOO EARLY 9 TIMES

PRETENDING TO SLEEP  33 TIMES

WINDOW IS OPEN NEIGHBOURS MIGHT HEAR  3 TIMES

BACKACHE  16 TIMES

TOOTHACHE 2 TIMES

HEADACHE        6 TIMES

NOT IN MOOD     31 TIMES

BABY RESTLESS MIGHT CRY 18 TIMES

WATCHED LATE SHOW  15 TIMES

MUD PACK  8 TIMES

GREASE ON FACE  4 TIMES

TOO DRUNK 7 TIMES

FORGET TO VISIT CHEMIST  10 TIMES

VISITORS SLEEPING NEXT DOOR 7 TIMES

JUST HAD HAIR DONE  28 TIMES

IS THAT YOU THINK ALL TIME 62 TIMES

DEAREST ,DO YOU THINK WE CAN IMPROVE ON OUR RECORD DURING THE FORTHCOMINH YEAR?

YOUR EVER LOVING HUSBAND   JIMMY

 

WHAT IS MOTHERS DAY

NINE MONTHS AFTER FATHERS DAY

WHAT IS A FUNNY WAY TO DEFINE KISS

APPLICATION AT H.Q.FOR A POSITION AT BASE

WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF A OLD MAN

WHEN IT TAKES ALL NIGHT TO DO WHAT YOU USED TO DO ALL NIGHTS

WHAT IS IT THAT SIX MEN CAN DO THAT THREE WOMEN CANT

PEE SMULTANEOUSLY IN THE SAME BUCKET

WHO IS A MISTRESS

BETWEEN A MISTER AND A MATRESS

WHO IS A PROSTITUTE

ITS A BUSY BODY ON APPOINTMENT

WHAT IS SALESMANSHIP

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RAPE AND SEDUCTION

WHO IS A GREAT MUSIC ADMIRER

A MAN WHO HEARS A LADY SINGING IN THE BATH AND PUTS HIS EAR TO THE KEYHOLE